For the month of November, I will be doing a Facebook fundraiser as well as donating a percentage of frannegolde.com proceeds to Music Mends Minds.
There is nothing like the power of music and MMM has been a life saver for my family and for my husband. It has enabled him to stay connected to one of the greatest loves of his life.
When Carol Rosenstein, founder of MMM says, “Music restores the rhythm of life. Music is medicine!” that’s far more than a slogan - research shows that circuits in the brain associated with music memory are unaffected by dementia and Alzheimer’s.
The other night I was sitting with my husband Paul listening to a playlist I’d put together of songs that we’ve both known and loved for decades; songs that precede our history together, songs we’ve been hearing and singing since we were children. It’s uncanny how we still know every lyric, melody, every baseline and drum groove. We’re not only experiencing our individual emotional connection to these songs, we’re also sharing, and deepening each other’s. It is the closest we can come to having a conversation these days.
Recently, as we sang along to The Beatles’ “Drive My Car,” “Norwegian Wood,” and “You Won’t See Me,” Paul became so animated as we acted out every line and pointed to each other, “You Won’t See Me, you won’t see me.”
Then we segued right into “Nowhere Man,” “Think For Yourself,” “The Word,” and “Michelle.”
I noticed that Paul was getting a bit tired, so I skipped to, “In My Life.”
As we were singing that immortal John Lennon lyric, I was caught off guard by these words:
“But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you.”
It’s hard for me to hold back tears. It’s so relevant to the moment.
Our eyes locked and time stood still. The music was still playing in the background, but now it was just the two of us, suspended in time.
They say that our eyes are the only part of our brain that are directly exposed to the world. That experience is happening right now. We are touching souls. Our souls are connected. Large tears run from my eyes, from deep within my burning chest, and Paul’s eyes fill with tears. But we never break our stare. His hand reaches out to mine and I feel that familiar warm touch, the electricity in our fingertips, the comfort I’ve missed so much, the tranquility, the reverence, our enduring history and our deep, deep love for each other. The one person in the whole world who knows me better than anyone else is with me in this moment.
My heart is bursting and breaking. It is so utterly bittersweet. I know I’ll never feel this way with anyone, ever again. Our decades of history are now mine alone to carry. I want to stay forever, here forever, suspended in time, but I know the moment is fleeting and he is fading and leaving more and more memories that are almost too painful to hold.
Music lives in such a deep place within us. It’s what brings us together, what brought Paul and me together, and what holds us together. It’s a big part of our love story and continues to be.
Blue-Violet Hope Scarf
I fell in love with this beautiful blue violet scarf. Paul has always loved Fern plants and we have many of them in our backyard, so when I saw this, I took it as a sign of hope. Hope that someday we can find a cure for Alzheimer’s. Hints of navy, mustard, violet, grey.